One of the points I frequently make in marriage counseling is this: Don't expect your spouse to meet all your needs, and don't expect to meet all your spouse's needs.
Of course, we should expect our spouses to meet some of our needs, and we should expect to meet some of theirs. Marriage is a partnership, and a good marriage involves mutual love, care, support, and companionship. But expecting our spouse to fulfill us places a burden on the relationship that it was never intended to bear.
The song Never Enough, from The Greatest Showman, captures something important about our longing for fulfillment. The singer imagines possessing extraordinary wealth, success, and recognition. Even all of that would not be enough. But the song also suggests that what would make these things sufficient is the presence and love of another person.
There is something beautiful about the desire to share our lives and our joys with someone we love. But there is also a danger in expecting that person to make our lives complete.
If we look to our spouse for the fullness of life, we will be perpetually disappointed. It will never be enough.
Marriage Is Primarily a Partnership
To understand why, I think we need to consider what marriage was created for in the first place.
In Genesis 2:18, God says:
"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'"
The passage then describes God bringing the animals to Adam to be named. Adam names the creatures, but no suitable helper is found for him.
I think this context is important. Adam had been given work to do. He was to name the creatures, which involved coming to know and understand the world God had made.
And this work was connected to something much larger: knowing God himself.
We cannot know God directly, in the sense of comprehending his nature apart from what he reveals. We know him through the things he makes and through the things he does. We know him through his works of creation and providence, through the ways he works in our lives and transforms us, and through the accounts of his work in Scripture and throughout history.
Adam needed a partner in this work. God gave him a suitable helper.
Both male and female are made in the image of God, reflecting different a
