What Is a Narcissist? Five Essential Features

If you've been reading this blog, you'll have noticed that I've written several posts on narcissism. As I've continued thinking about the subject, I've centered on five essential features.

When I say 'essential,' I mean that all five need to be present for the particular pattern of narcissism I'm describing. Remove one, and we may be looking at something other than narcissism. These five features also fit together as a unit, each connected to the others. The difficulty receiving criticism (#5), for example, goes back to the weak sense of self (#1). Because that sense of self is so fragile, criticism can feel as though one's whole world is crashing down, even as though the self itself is being annihilated under the weight of criticism.

1. A weak sense of self. Underneath the outward presentation is a fragile sense of personal worth.

2. A sense of one's own uniqueness and superiority. The narcissist regards himself as exceptional or superior to others. His own importance becomes paramount.

3. Using others as instruments to meet one's own needs. Other people are valued primarily for what they can provide rather than being regarded as persons with their own needs and interests.

4. A lack of empathy. Difficulty recognizing or genuinely sympathizing with the experiences and needs of others.

5. Difficulty receiving criticism. Criticism can provoke intense shame, anger, or defensiveness because it threatens the narcissist's fragile sense of self.